My dear Petunia,
I know how anguish surrounds your heart and captures your breath, and I know the deepening pressure you experience of overwhelming sadness. I am here to hold you in sorrow and show that you are not alone in this world. Despite the impervious bubble designed to protect, which keeps all who could know you safely distanced, the isolation created is not fully realized. I know you. I have been with you always from the beginning; experienced all the joy, the pain, the longing, the suffocating self-doubt, the love, the loss, the pride of success, the humiliation of failure, shame of being less-than, and the peace felt in moments of achieving acceptance. I see you. I see you when our eyes cross paths, momentarily locking, stopping time, ceasing all movement, and quieting the nearly constant sound of disappointment. I see past what you believe to be real; past the fear of perpetual discontent, and through the lives not lived. I even see what you cannot, and I want you to know that your existence is not inconsequential, that you are just as you should be – right here, right now, just as you are, without exception. This life is yours, it is the only life you have to live, and it is wonderfully grand, ridiculously short, but it does not have to be anything other than exactly what it is. When you are feeling angst about the imperfections of reality I want you to stop. Stop whatever it is you are doing. No matter how invested you are in it, or how important you believe it to be, I’m asking you to simply stop for a moment. Walk away from whatever it is. Don’t worry, you can return to it later – it will surely still be there. Now close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and breathe. Slowly breathe in, breathe out, and remind yourself about just one really good thing in your life. It doesn’t matter how big or how small this one thing is – just one thing that you can appreciate and brings you joy. This may sound simplistic, but taking a little time to reset your perspective in moments of irritability or discontent can provide immeasurable relief for no other reason than the realization that there is joy and goodness all around when we look for it. I know what you’re thinking, and I understand the doubt. This world, and this life are so full of darkness and despair. One needs only a dim view to see the cost this world is paying for humanities self-indulgent greed. I know the overshadowing knowledge of the perverse nature of man can lead to endless toiling on depravity, and you may wonder what choice do any of us have when we are among this collective. Can one separate them self from humanity? Are we doomed to continue the raping and pillaging of earth until there is nothing left? The answer to the first is of course no. We are all interconnected and therefore responsible for our part in the escalation of the destruction of the planet. And the answer to the second is… it’s complicated. We are doomed to the fate of our existence on this planet and of this planet. We all play a part in human history: the good, the bad, and the ugly – and yes we can be very, very ugly on so many different levels. However, we are creatures with a vast array of characteristics – some of them are wonderfully creative, loving, and even entertaining. If you believed the law of thermodynamics, there is little chance earth will infinitely continue to be life sustaining, as we know it. Many agree our species has accelerated this inevitable loss of sustainability, but it is still inevitable. Alternatively, putting aside the objectionableness of this reality, consider another perspective. There is vast beauty, kindness, joyousness, and mystery in the world. Living this one life now with as much love and kindness that we can muster is just about the best any of us can do. So whatever it was that disturbed you at that one moment is most certainly not worth fretting over; what good would come of that fretting anyway. Do no harm, love yourself and others, show compassion and understanding, try not to carry the weight of the world, and live this one life you have – good or bad – it’s what you make of it. Know that you are loved and never completely alone.