Would it help?

Dealing with the crazies - ODAAT

            Happy Saturday, happy first day of a three-day weekend, and happy sunshine and lazy afternoons to all who struggled with the dark cold winter this year. I’m grateful for the opportunity to sit down and do some writing, and even more grateful I’m allowing myself to take the time.  For all those who suffer from anxiety, or depression, my heart goes out to you and I hope you find relief and resources to help you through.  I too have experienced times of both anxiety and depression throughout most of my life.  While there’s no way to know the experience of another, I want to say ‘me too! I get it. I see your suffering and feel it too.’ You are not alone in this, and either am I.  Yet, while I understand the idea of not being alone in experiencing difficult and sometimes unexplainable emotions.  In reality, there are those things that must be dealt with internally and on your own.  Of course, I can only speak for myself here.  This is how I experience me in the world but I doubt my experience is much different than many of you.

            In the last couple of years, I seem to experience anxiety with increasing intensity.  I’m not sure of the cause of this or if my perception is even based on reality.  It could be that past anxiety is dulled compared to the present.  If the anxiety has increased (it has, according to my husband), the cause could be one, or a combination, of any number of changes and stressors from this time frame. Many of these events have impacted all of us, are continuing to have an impact, and we will all need to deal with – or not…  Personally, I find the cultural shifts many nations are going through evoke feelings of overwhelming angst and fear.  When I feel this way, I remind myself the world and all its beautiful nations have always been in a constant state of flux.  Primarily what has changed is my awareness and refusal to turn a blind eye from the ignorance of consumer driven behavior, which benefits some, while harming others.  Nevertheless, it’s more than that.  The earth is in dire straits from our overuse, reckless pillaging, lack of understanding or care, sense of entitlement, etc, etc, etc… Time is running out for us humans to change the destructive trajectory of this life train.  In a matter of a few short generations, this planet will be depleted of its life sustaining resources. Resources the human race has collectively used, distorted, squandered, and exploited with seemingly wild abandon, and continues to do so.  Our societies and cultural norms are set up this way after decades of innovations to make living more efficient, more convenient, safer, and more comfortable.  Going against these social norms is nearly impossible for the average privileged person living in any developed country.  Have you tried to get through a week without using a piece of single use packaging? For the small percentage of people who do take drastic measures to live a zero-waste life, actually getting to zero for any significant amount of time is nearly impossible, and experts report one person’s actions make little to no impact on the problems with face with climate change and our vanishing ecosystems.

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Side note: Please don’t let the ‘experts’ opinions on the impact one person can have dissuade you from conservation efforts.  Every small change we make to use less, reduce waste, and conserve the earth’s natural resources has to have an impact.  I refuse to believe putting one less plastic water container in the landfill isn’t worth the effort of bringing a reusable bottle to the hot sports event, even when I see dozens of other people take the plastic bottle and sheepishly mumble they forgot theirs at home. It’s worth the looks I get when I say, “no, I don’t use single use plastic.”  Maybe its not enough, but I know people notice and it might encourage them to make small changes too, and that is better than giving up or doing nothing.

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This truth is not new. However, the reporting and efforts put forth to increase awareness have worked well, and make it much harder to ignore – at least in my case.  As the point of no return gets closer (assuming the point still exists in the future) the efforts to slow the train of destruction increase, and thankfully, more and more people are starting to see the gravity of the situation.  

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Side note 2: I thought this might be a good time to put out a clarifying statement of why I write.  I do not consider myself a writer any more than I consider myself a musician, an artist, a dancer, etc… While I can and do dance, create art, and make music in the same respect that everyone can dance, create art, and make music.  I have no aspirations of leveling up my raw talents to the point of selling anything I write, art I create, etc… I write for me.  I need an outlet for all these disjointed, and sometimes disturbing thoughts that ramble though my consciousness.  For now, getting them out there to this small and encouraging community seems to help me process the crazies and find a bit of peace from the noise. Thank you for being a part of the process.  I appreciate you all, much more than I imagine you are aware of.

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So, what do we do with this angst, fear, anxiety, dread, or (insert your own descriptive feeling word)?  Can we make a difference in the world? Do our actions even matter? Absolutely they do! Hell Yeah!  Will it save the planet?  While human actions have definitely negatively impacted the earth, I’m not convinced we have the power to “save” it.  For one, many of our best-intentioned plans have resulted in catastrophic results that were worse than what we were trying to fix. Secondly, I fully believe everything is finite – this is a law of nature that cannot be changed.  The earth will one day cease to exist as we know it. I’m certain human’s sped up the process.  We can do many, many things to respect this magical natural environment so we can survive for longer than a couple of generations, but our power to impact, positively or negatively, is limited.  The earth will wear out and die one day, in spite of what we do. 

A quote from my favorite play Waiting for Godot seems appropriate here: “Let us not waste our time in idle discourse! Let us do something, while we have the chance....at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for once the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say?”~ Samuel Beckett

I have no good answer to getting enough of us on board to one, agree to a positive and impactful action plan, and two, make the sacrifices that will slow down the train to destruction.  What I do know, and usually believe, is anxiety and worry do nothing to improve the situation.  I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I think it’s beginning to change the internal dialogue.  A few weeks ago, I watched a movie with my husband, Chris.  It was a Tom Hanks movie where Hanks was defending a Russian spy caught in the US.  The movie was based on historical events, and Hanks’ character was an attorney tasked with providing the accused with a defense at a fair trial, set in the 1930’s.  The two men developed a relationship of mutual respect and the movie did a good job at showing the audience that every person and story has many perspectives.  Throughout the movie, Hanks would comment on how calm the prisoner was, despite facing grave consequences, which could include the death penalty.  He would ask the prisoner if he was afraid or worried.  Each time the accused would simply ask, “Would it help?” For me, it was thought provoking.  Now when the crazies start yammering in my head about the scary stuff, I do my best to solicit peace.  When they ask why we shouldn’t be worried or afraid, I’ll say, “Why, would it help?”